this is like her 8th guy since december, is she wasn't frumpy people would call her a whore
You picked me up and threw me on a barstool and shoved shots in front of me.
Thats like the definition of a good friend
Atty had lunch with DA and confirmed I am not the target of the investigation. No word on anything else
I'm trying to think of how to explain to the dentist tomorrow that I think I pulled my jaw muscle eating pizza while drunk.
did we decide the 'sorry about the threesome' cake was too flippant?
Maybe walking up to the cops busting our party with a "Things go better with Coke" t-shirt on and asking for my extra license back that my little brother got busted with wasn't the best idea of the night.
The car just stinks of weed and we are all sitting here trying to hide it from my mom by rolling down the windows, like it's not coming off my sisters boyfriend
When theres a zombie apocalypse, i will be the only fat survivor. I ate chef boyardi ravioli with part of a pen for a fork
she's just been through a whole lot lately. When the crazy starts leaking out we give her vodka and lock her in the room with all the pillows.
so that's what that room is for...
Her next conquest seems to be stealing her ex-boyfriend's new girlfriend. Pretty sure everyone involved is totally OK with this.
I just ordered $70 worth of pizza and I'm not even ashamed. Happy Valentine's Day to me.
Her son walked in on us and asked if he could "wrestle too."
That's so awful of me. Instead of comforting her I masturbated in front of my ex-boyfriend.
I just saw a guy in a zippo shirt buy 2 gallons of fire starter fluid and then proceed to smoke a cigarette. I feel like hes got some big plans for his tuesday.
Just sold my panties for 40 bucks to some rando dude at the gay bar. I think I found a way to fund next years spring break trip. Hello cancun!
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