I'm at a Mexican Walmart. Wish you were here.
I told him I was pregnant. Figured it would soften the blow of telling him I had herpes.
Did it?
Not as such, no.
why do married chicks ALWAYS cry after?
Hippo gnu deer
The lady next to me at the airport just baggage checked a six pack. She is now my hero.
she sent me pictures of 3 different vaginas and if I could pick which one was hers i could sleep with her.
I was always good at matching as a child.
Just so you know, you're MY booty call. Feel degraded.
its just been over 12 hours, and i`m dying, don`t know how i`m supposed to survive the holidays sexless
He started going down on me while we were watching Land Before Time.
Incredible.
It happened again.
What?
I lost in a drinking contest with my 84 year old grandmother. Two years in a row now.
I was thirsty after the sex and it was a long trek back to res so naturally I stole chocolate milk from his fridge as I left
I went out to dinner with the girls thinking I'd be home early. Instead I ended up in the Englishman's hotel room. Long Live The Queen.
Dashing through the vodka, in a tinder swiping rage, all the fuck boys get a no, laughing all the way.
Just got home, my brothers stoned and he got a high score on COD.. He just asked me if I wanted to have a celebrational yogurt with him. Wtf?
she's pretty fucking smug for someone who has had unprotected sex with a convicted felon
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