i just met rob pattinson in italy. he's so stupid, i feel like i would have to say "your penis goes here!"
Do you know a sam ****, im at the bar right now and lookin for some dirt on her to guilt trip her in to sex
so do the steelers give the refs blowjobs at halftime or after the game?
i cant belive i got a ticket! i know what his dick tastes like!
You were directing traffic around her for 30min after she passed out in the middle of the road.
You really are best friends.
if that's jizz on my steering wheel i'm gonna be pissed...and impressed.
Nobody has seen her in 3 days. Should we call the cops or hope this is just another drunk Carmen San Diego game she's playing?
All right cuz right now I'm in one of those moods where the shear thought of doing anything more strenuous than making a sandwich has me wanting to curl up in the feeble position and splash around in a puddle of my own tears.
I'm watching him slurp a whole mango out of her hand. It's disturbingly arousing.
Ill tap morse code on the ceiling when im ready for you to come down amd smoke
I went to bed at ten on a Friday night I have virtues to spare
Just got high and apologized to my vagina for getting chlamydia
Because 9 pm Thursday you drink a loco cause you just wanna get drunk and have a good time with your friends. Then you wake up on Tuesday and you've had 17 locos and you're pregnant, lying on the side of the road, 3 states over. THAT'S why we don't have only locos parties.
i have two papers due tomorrow. contemplating if i should take adderall in my anus for full effects
Crazy homeless man drinking beer out of a vitamin water container on the bus just set me up on a date with the yuppie next to him
Randomize
