so wait, they're fucking, but it doesn't count as cheating cause they only do anal?
nah, shes just mad because we went through all her fb pics and tagged her crotch as all the guys shes fucked
Were betting on little kids falling and racing for a drinking game at the wedding.
I have the coolest burn here. Everyone is taking my picture. I'm like a celebrity of the burn victims.
was it me or did you scream 'champagne motherfucker' when you punched him in the face ??
These pissing matches have to stop. They led to last night's scotch through the nose shots. I'll never smell again.
I cried at the bouncer while saying I wished he was my father... They had no idea what to do with me.
Itd be nice if there was a level of interest in me somewhere in between the indifference and obsession that I've only been attracting
But now I'm just thinking when he said he "worked for the airline" he actually meant drug smuggling.
Woke up to the frozen soundtrack blasting in the living room best one night stand ever
Sounds like either a very good Friday night or a very bad Saturday morning.
A boy just offered to come over and help me clean my house. I hope you are more successful than he will be tonight.
I looked like a tiger in heat. He didn't know if I wanted to fuck him or eat him.
If she didn't block me, she would have known that I sneezed on her toothbrush.
I am witnessing a blind guy whip ass at beer pong
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