do people in england often walk their sheep on leashes? or is this guy the exception to the rule?
porn bloobers exist! never have i laughed so hard while jerking off!
As it would turn out, "jesusssssss" is not the password to enter Faith Chapel's wifi network.
I started dry heaving in the middle of sex and she says "You moan funny."
I'm at the gas station where we got beef jerky and condoms. The fact that those two are in the same sentence makes me love you more.
Yea, remember to blow out the fire from flaming shots. Unless you want burnt lips. Just saying, I'm an example of ignorance and intoxication.
We will. we just need a little inspiration.... in smoke form.
WE'RE FINALLY ADMITTING THAT WE DESPERATELY WANT TO SCREW EACH OTHER. THIS IS WHAT PROGRESS FEELS
I'll be there in 10. I need you naked and ready. Warm up.
nothing like a call from your drunk grandpa at midnight on a wednesday to ask your parents if you're registered to vote...
my head feels like a yellow yolk spinning in a circle at the bottom of the bowl.. i may have a concussion, love auto correct
Dude I just saw a beer truck w taps in the side... It's like god heard my prayers and sent me a gift from heaven
Someone has big plans this weekend. Just went to throw away the trash and saw packaging for 3 different vibrators on the top of the stack
Probably shouldn't be looking at memes at my grandmother's funeral
Listen, she cheated on him first. I've known both of them since we were 12. They have no secrets from me. And yes, as a matter of fact, I absolutely did enjoy screaming out his name into his, soon to be, ex wife's pillow.
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