Please explain to me why I only attract Mormon guys. Just explain that to me.
I think it's God trying to counter your lustful nature. Imagine if Agnostics liked you. You'd never come out of your bedroom.
There is a bruise on my cock the size of a golfball. Bad sign.
my mom just asked me, concerned, if I swallowed.
Just walk-of-shame'd past fifteen little girls at summer camp. Take a good look girls, I am you in twelve years.
So recap time do u remember biting that girls hand?
turkey basters and jungle juice, is that really the whole shopping list for new year's?
she was in the bathroom washing her eye makeup off with hand sanitizer.
Don't count me out just yet. Considering bartering a blowjob to see if that boy from work will take my shift.
Just met me in 10 years...this lady keeps an emergency wine cooler in her bag
They were taking shots out of the caps of perfume bottles. This is too much for me.
Haha yeah this costume is worse than I imagined. I look more like a gothic hooker who caters specifically to creepy men with doll fetishes
And dildos are 35% off. So. Ya know. Savings.
you know she was a bad idea when your mom offers to pay for an eHarmony account
Also, do you have any insight as to WHY I have a note saved from the 17th of June that reads *clears throat*, "you got that swanky blues libido"
I’m home.
I’m aware. I just dropped you off.
Randomize
