last night you decided it was time to "get organized" and "straighten out your life." You pulled out a bag of troll dolls, sorted through them and got nostalgic. You demanded both andy and i take one and keep it forever.
Ben's a prick.
What Ben are you talking about?
All the bens across all the lands
At least he could have found a MILF, she's a dbl bagger. No wonder he goes to counseling.
Yeah..you can't spell Prozac without Zac(h).
i don't care how ready and willing she is. she is where penises go to die
They got a 10 foot tall beach ball from the roof of a McDonalds. Get the fuck over here.
Seriously this night has "go home now before you cry, puke or scream on someone" written all over it.
Have u seen my thong? Last time i saw it was drenched in vodka and on his brothers broken lamp.
Nah but tell him his boxers made it to the basement
I think this agreement was sent by God. I get to do my own thing, get laid, and he still makes me breakfast in the morning.
no, I didn't go in the end. Too hungover and hot, plus Star Wars is on so obviously I'm having a naked day.
I just remember yelling "BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS" while I was streaking
On a side note, my ex husband offered to buy me shrooms
I have booze and I wanna give you a bj. How can you be mad at me?
What am I thankful for..I figured out I can drink on antibiotics without getting sick thanks to the power of pot gummies
Is it bad form to puke out of a dorm window to avoid looking bad in front of the people in your room?
How about from a sixth floor window?
On the plus side, he ate me out and gave me an orgasm. But he also talked about robots during sex and mispronounced it like the dad in the goldbergs and called them “robits”
Randomize
