I just saw the girl you left with - Chris Hansen's looking for you
my weekend in 10 words or less: hot friend of a friend, open bar, beach house, sore. In that order too.
I was happy to be the center of attention..until i realized why everyone was staring
I feel like we're taking advantage of the fact that our R.A has cerebal palsey.
dude all you wanted to do was sleep under a bridge
I'm pretty sure you called me last night and screamed that she was force-feeding you a bagel.
He was very impressed that you could put your hair in a ponytail by yourself while throwing up.
I don't even see the point of going over to his place dressed anymore.
I hope you fall on your chin.
Jealousy makes you ugly.
Guy, there will be accountabilities this weekend that you will need to respond to, or else.
When he sent me a picture, I swear my vag frowned. That tiny.
There's a certain feeling that only comes from wearing pearls to hide hickeys
Bar selfie Saturday turned into bar nudie Saturday in a hurry. I need to delete my snapchat...
I spent the entire night stroking his hair. He was cool with it. Never thought a ginger stoner would help me work through my social anxiety but here we are.
just saw a girl run into an automatic sliding door, back up and try again
I just got a handjob in the back of an Uber while a large German dude and a Midwestern fuck-boi sang along in falsetto to the Bohemian Rhapsody.
Randomize
