if sarah has 12 dollars and spends 6 of it on cheap booze how much will she spend on hangover food the next morning?
4 on the dollar menu at mcdonalds
mom cant say that college never taught us math
I just saw at least a dozen senior citizens on roller blades. way to drunk for this.
If the EMT's ask later... I had 5 hour energy for breakfast and Four Loko for dinner... It might be important for them to know that
theres 5 guys on the side of the road with beads and their shirts off screaming at cars already.
IF HE CAN'T EVEN MAKE EYE CONTACT IN CLASS, I DOUBT THERE WILL BE OTHER FORMS OF CONTACT ON OUR FIRST NOT-A-DATE DATE
ders ninda duuude pooring goden shots ov glory. I see em an i dont but there hear.
are you attempting voice recognition while drunk again?
You peed up the stairs in front of everyone then blamed it on the dog
And now we should drink to that moment where you realize you didn't exactly think things through.
You disappeared for 10 minutes. Then came back with nothing but your boxers and a life jacket on to tell us we were all screwed when the flood came and you would be the only survivor.
Do they make liter beers?
They make 40s
Do they make 2 liter beers
They make 2 40s
Had to decide between a hook up at the train restroom or getting to work on time #growingup
I punched the bar tender after he cut me off. Hopped over the bar and made my own drink. That's how I got tazed
We're starting to light shit on fire, bring a metal bucket. Be prepared, Jimmy's off his meds.
There is blood all over my sheets and no discernible source.
I think he may actually care that I call him slampiece instead of his real name. Who knew he had feelings?
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