We all know the best way to start a relationship is greeting while at least one of you are intoxicated, dual facebook stalking, and a two week long game of 20 questions via texts to 'really' get to know each other. In that order.
I wouldn't have it any other way. It's like a fairy tale!
I woke up at 2 in my clothes with a defrosted steak in my pocket, no drinky this week at all.
so we were having anal, both very very drunk when he started shouting his roomates name
just found preset five on the shower head...pretty sure my pussy just had a panic attack
I probably looked like a mental patient. I had my IV in one hand and cup of pee in the other, swaying around with a dazed grin on my face. I love vicodin.
He's just giving off this "someone be a bitch to me" vibe
There two guys dressed as FEMA workers with jump-suits that say "Post-Disaster Breast Examination Division"
he said he needs a little more pabst, some time to jack off and a sandwich and he'll be ready
You know you had a good time when you get the wheelchair treatment in Mexico back to your cruise.
Right now you and beer are my only friends.
Got baptized for New Years. In champagne and cheap vodka.
im in DESPERATE NEED OF A COMPANION RIGHT NOW I’M MOTHER FUCKING TRIPPING SOLID GOLD BALLS
I just told 2 of my vibrators "I love you." I seriously need some dick.
I just kept eating and watching him slide down the stairs head first
all i remember is walking home without my pants on... when i woke up i was sleeping in between my parents in their bed, no more whiskey wednesdays
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