I'm trying this new thing, it's called standards
That's the last time I fill my pockets with sushi.
he took off his pants and apologized in advance if I thought he was too small.
Why do you apologize after every time we have sex?
You mailed him a break up letter, because you thought the "joy of receiving a letter" would ease the pain of you dumping him.
Yeah, well I just made $600 while taking a shut cause two diff clients called while I was in here. Tell me being a lawyer doesn't kick ass.
Also: how drunk is your brother? He just left me a message as batman.
Listen up tinkerbell, You're gonna come to the bar, hit on some fat chicks, and step up when I punch someone in the face.
My lecture teach is passed out next to me. I think I'm doing pretty good for a freshman.
You shouldn't do laundry high cus pink.
I got kicked out of the hotel after wandering into the banquet kitchen at 2am trying to find the shrimp....so we're power napping in the car and then driving to madison.
Relaxed was like phase 1 of this phase 7 high
It's gotten to the point that when I close my eyes to cum all I see is candy crush
WHY DID YOU NOT OFFER TO LET HIM STAY
Dude, it's like you want him inside me more than i do
The bride is so wasted, she fell into her cake.I wanna be on her level
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