I'm smoking weed out of a trumpet
I just did a slip and slide down the hall way of my apartment building
Tie
I just put a picture of what I imagine Rob's dick looks like on it on my vision board. thank you Oprah!
i regret nothing . he quoted dr. suess . he deserved that bj .
mid-sex i was thinking.. these are not the right balls slapping me
On the couch having a debate with the dog over whether eating anothr sweet roll will make the hangover better or worse
Is it mean that I just sent him a pic of my tits with the header, "say bye bye?"
He just called me juicy booty via text message.
There's glitter in my speakers, piles of cheezits on the floor, a random Audi in the driveway and a homeless dude napping in a lawn chair in the backyard. Wtf happened last night?
U can be a future sentaor's wife if you want. I'm happy with "closet lesbian", "tech prof".and "masters degree" all rolled into one. Drunken bar escapades pay off.
It's called the dick transitive property. It states if you touch a person whilst they touch a dick, you are also touching said dick.
So i know i said I'm turning over a new leaf, but i met a guy with a dick piercing. I have to sleep with him. For science.
I need to sleep so I can die properly tomorrow.
Sitting across the table from one of my high school teachers who hasn't seen me since I was about 16 drinking a beer wearing a leotard
The shrooms were awesome. Everyone's bones in their face looked so beautiful! Everyone had great face structures.
It was get out of line and go pee and get no beef briskit. Or stay in line, pee my pants, but have beef briskit. I really wanted my beef briskit
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