This guy sitting next to me just bought a plot of land off the internet. On a whim. In the middle of class
So I've only had a mustache for about 5 minutes and I'm already pretty sure it's the best decision I've ever made.
you were drinking a pitcher of what you called "16 loko" and making everybody guess what the secret ingredient was
did we cross streams again? the only thing I remember is seeing a dick
I'm like the Mother Theresa of booty calls.
Weekday college schedule so far: get high as tits. Watch Family Guy marathons. Repeat.
i was mezmorized. she was the most beautiful girl that looked like a boy i ever seen
I just masturbated to a Jock Jams cd. What have you done today?
I have a new game. It's called "how weird can you act before a guy won't fuck you". I've deducted most guys are willing even if you're batshit insane.
Then me, her, and her mom snorted tequila. The bartender was in shock.
Drunk me made out with someone's girlfriend last night, was invited to their place for a semi-threesome, and then walked home at three am. Can't decide if this is better or worse than drunkenly challenging everyone to taekwondo sparring matches...
we told the drug dealer that our car was dead and we needed a jump so he would bring the drugs to us...
I just wanted a bootycall and now somehow I'm at his parents playing dominoes. But they have tequila so it's cool
Look, I tried but his dick tasted like disappointment.
hypothetically, what's the best method to remove an stray semen gob from a roommate's important school document?
Randomize
