just the thought makes me want to clean my vag with a clorox wipe
Four minutes until I can fart!
Im at a party and this guy hitting on me just showed me his 'caution choking hazard' tattoo right above his penis. There goes any chance he had of getting laid tonight.
everytime she opens her mouth i wish that i was deaf
his profile picture is a blurry one of him holding a beer. i recognized him instantly.
We found them in a dumpster making out trying to get their privacy
some guy just burried his vomit in the sand.
It's totally ok to sleep with him. The only place I have feelings for him is in my vagina.
Got a handy at the foam party. Took girl home. Banged her. Thanked her for foam handy. "what handy?"
This Alex the guy who suck your belly ring
He stuck a cigarette in my butt last night. There is no coming back from that.
I walk into the pharmacy and I'm like "I need three morning after pills" and the guy was like "uhhhh". All I said was "we didn't plan it, we all just got laid the same night"
wait you fucked a guy who wears k-swiss? seriously?
I know, im living my 7th grade dream
The first thing my Christmas gift money is buying is a dildo.
Texting people and counting condoms..we have like fourteen. Goal for this week: use all of them
Randomize
