when a girl says 'did you just try to kiss me' you should leave the bar. trust me.
God I'm so bored. I wish I had a baby or something to play with.
And this is exactly why you should NEVER have kids.
bring the vodka.
i thought we were going to mcdonalds..?
we are.
He tried to slow-dance with me in bed. IN BED.
Funny. I made out with his brother for the first time in a bathroom too.
"drunk introduce yourself to everyone colleen" came out last night... you kept grabbing guys faces that you just met and just kept saying their names over and over and over again so you wouldn't forget.. then would see them 5 minutes later to introduce yourself again..
If I come home tho and find u passed out naked in my bed with the bottle of crown empty, we're gonna have issues.
I'm sorry, I can't help the fact that I like to sleep naked, and I like booze, together it looks bad, yes.
I want to be stormed in. I want to be stuck there. I want to climb a pyramid of strippers to safety
ARE YOU THINKING VAGINA THEMED RESTAURANT
Well I woke up naked, with a santa hat on, and a bag of beef jerky next to me. So yeah, I would say it was a pretty successful trolley
"I'm not drinking any more tonight." As I dipped my quesadilla in a shot of tequila....then eats it
Only real friends lend their restraints to engagedfriends to fool around with married strangers.
I made it 1 week... 5 business days at my new job before sleeping with my coworker.
only i would get off to receiving death threats online
Do you remember standing up at 3 in the morning and asking me if I was counting to six?
Randomize
