But never have I ever had sex with a dirty talker before, so it was something else, to say the least. I signed up to get laid, not play Penthouse Mad Libs.
the ice cream truck is coming omgomg
dude, it's 2 am.
but its COMING
I seriously think I have a tan line on my stomach from getting a boner while in the taning bed.
the australian girl literally just drank an entire pitcher of beer in about twenty seconds. i want to go to there.
I just want you to know if you wake up tomorrow morning and wreak of mustard, I was not involved.
By the way, thank you for feeding me fries when I was sitting on the floor.
I just realized I'm trading you a pregnancy test for the morning after pill...
It's been a bad semester.
I would say I'm the man in the relationship but I'm cuddled on the couch eating cake mix and water.
Hey I came back and we made joints with the breathalyzers the cops left last night.
Whiskey dick has taught us to be smart with our time.
You know you threw a brownie at my head last night. And said you did it to defend the turtles honer....
Also I know you probably did not understand anything I said on the phone last night but thank you for pretending.
If one more dude who finds out I'm a cop asks to see me in uniform I'm gonna become asexual
Is it normal for a guy to send you a dick pic along with “He misses you”
He's honking my boob in his sleep
It's innocent and endearing in some way
Randomize
