Until that no good dick sucking whore stays away from my boyfriend I am gonna start blowing all of his friends...
his Mom's staying with him so he asked if I'd go over and fuck in his shed. he said "it's a really nice shed"
Before I dignify that with an answer, let me get this straight. You're asking me if I wiped my ass on the towels?
Land Before Time marathon. we drink every time littlefoot almost eats a treestar.
I caught him trying to shit in her bed. I asked him why he was doing it and he said "because it's wrong."
This is stressing me out. I feel like I need to eat the dick.
how many thumbs am i supposed to have at one time
you found the shrooms didnt you
U can find me on my couch hungover eatin tuna evaluating my life
Ran into his mom at the bar, i told her "i know he's married now but I'd still do him"
Throwing up in his bed is not a step up in your relationship
One good thing about being really drunk when you go out to dinner is that the leftovers are a surprise. These quesadillas had shrimp in them! Who knew?
In my defense, I haven't stolen anyone's clothes yet.
Yeah, that's a plus.
The last thing I remember about last night was guzzling white zinfandel out of the box and eating cheese. And I was thinking OH YOU FANCY HUHHH
I better make out with at least 3 princesses and 4 animals this weekend.
I woke up with leftover chocolate syrup on my nipples. WTF happened last night??
Randomize
