i decided i am going on the Justin Bobby plan for success. Don't cut my hair for a year, don't shave for a month, land Audrina Patridge. Game on.
Hurry up I might actually study if I am left alone
She showed me her prom dress from 2001, which still had her date's cum stain on it.
Oh, so that's why you call her jizzarella....
You were running around with scissors offering people free haircuts.
Just think, this time last Cinco de Mayo you were holding me up and finding me passed out in the yard of that house.
There's a warrant out for his arrest for throwing a mannequin through a bus stop.
The only thing left on my Bucket List is getting fingered at an aquarium.
Dude fuck drugs. It's 4am and I'm eating mushroom ravioli fantasizing about jumping on a trampoline
Hook ups at LEGOLAND don't count right?
Are we playing inappropriate sexual encounters bingo?
The sex was so boring I heard the people having sex next door and I wanted to stop just to listen
Did you really just reference your penis in a pep talk? I think I may love you more now.
Coming straight to your house after the flight. If not in Federal Prison for disobeying peanut laws.
You gotta have 1 orgasm for me and the rest can be for you. I'm living vicariously through you 😂
Do I have to cook for the potluck? Can I just bring a costco size bottle of Vodka?
Where you been?
Please tell me this is a booty call
Randomize
