At an apparent methhead hillbilly bar and was smiling for a pic when one toothless wonder screamed "look at all them teeth"!
i just told a girl i would suck the alcohol out of a deoderant stick
i just realized i've been trying to levitate the potatoe chip out of her hand for the past ten minutes. i think i smoked to much.
You finger a girl once and she thinks she loves you. I'm going back to boys. Lesbians are needy.
just got 3 freshman girls to makeout with each other at a toga party! score!
why is this not a picture message?!?!
Just heard the garage door open and I immediately sprinted to the laptop to erase history, even though I haven't watched porn today...I believe Pavlov now.
We woke up under the ping pong table holding hands.
My neighbor is on the his front porch in a robe dipping a popsicle into what appears to be vodka. I want to be his son.
I don't care if I just threw up. You kiss me now. This is marriage.
The picture that pops up when I call her phone is a picture of my nipple. Just so you're forewarned.
Btw his name is Woody. I must be really drunk to think this is a good situation
Im gonna go for the gay guy. The ginger is freaking me out.
I found her outside drinking steak sauce out of the bottle.
if wiping your ass w an envelope isnt the definition of hitting "financial rock bottom " then nothing is!
I got here. Mom yelled "drink of the day is blueberry sangria" and next thing I knew I was on a slip and slide.
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