Right on... I dropped my chapstick
I blacked out
this kid at 40 friday greeted another kid by saying "heeey farmville neighbor"
dude.
yep. needless to say i didn't meet anyone and spent yet another friday night masturbating.
She fell down the stairs and hit her head on the concrete. Then she stood up, flashed us and stumbled away. I forgot to get her number..
Nicole, you can't keep coming over at 3am wanting to build igloos.
i'm gonna start fucking more girls with asthma. help feed my ego.
He slow fucked me. Doggy style. On a porch. You never slow fuck doggy style. Its a law. A LAW.
He stopped replying so I told him I got tested and it came back positive for chlamydia to see if he replied. His phone magically works again!
WE SHOULD MAKE A WORKOUT ROUTINE CALLED BARCARDIO
How much more is Amanda Bynes going to rip out our hearts?!?!?
She went to her drug test stoned.
And strangely enough, we all know she'll pass it.
I dealt with the imported moonshine, but when the cocaine came out, I had to get the fuck out of there
Stormed out of the house in frustration and now I'm in public and have to take a rage dump. Today sucks.
I'm currently sitting at your kitchen table eating chicken nuggets that I dug out of the trash and thinking about how much I need to get laid.
No, I'm not a weirdo, I keep bondage straps under my matress like a normal person, not a diary.
How long do I have to listen to him talk about the chickens before telling him I just really want to fuck? Note: it's already been twelve minutes.
Randomize
