Remember that time i walked in on your friend taking a huge shit?
Remember that time you hooked up with him?
Go to google and type XXX
.......Is that how you look for porn?
Apparently when you order 'bottomless fries' at red robin that doesnt mean you can go around to every table and eat all the fries you want off other peoples plates.
im pretty sure while i was fucking her my dog was fucking her dog too
You ordered a "mcblizzard" and yelled @ the worker for false advertisement because she didn't flip your "mcblizzard" upsidedown. You wanted it free. I'd say mcdonalds daytime workers need to be trained in dealing with daytime drunks too. She didn't know what to do.
the liquor store owner came out from behind the counter and kissed my cheek when he saw that i am back for fall semester
He seriously just asked the doctor if taking the medicine for chlamydia was going to cut into his drinking time. Never let it be said that he is not dedicated.
She passed out in the backyard, making "face down" snow angels ... so they could have a smile.
Tequila bombs in champagne seemed like a good idea at the time.
well hes been the bathroom for like 15 mins so he either feels comfortable enough to puke/ shit in my apartment or he escaped out the window
im in the library and there's this guy on a computer just staring at a google image of beer. finals week is rough.
She tried to gratify me left handed. Let's just say I've been placed on the 15 day DL.
literally 50% of my time being 20 has involved my genitals thus far
Its 11am and I'm eating gummi bears and drinking Tennessee honey in my underwear...this is why I'm self employed
Come to my place after work and we can discuss our finances over a coors delight and a fire ball shot
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