I think I just saw the travelocity gnome in leather chaps.
i can't believe i never thought of this: farticle man
the only time it's appropriate to sing In The Air Tonight by Phils Collins is while sake bombing at Cal Beach
um or while having sex on a train
just put a funnel in my mouth and pour the tequila in with a little emergen-c
There was an Altoids can full of urine in the bathroom. I do not want to know what was going on in there.
My boss just sent an employee on an hour long paid break to pick up weed for our 'staff meeting' tomorrow morning.
It is. We should just be drunk all the time forever everything is like just 90% more perfect
Going to the beach. Greeting Sandy with a blunt. Wish us luck!
Drunk and alone at a magic show is what my life has become without you
Question: what's the protocol for seeing your mistress walking alongside her clueless boyfriend? If you could answer this ten minutes ago, that'd be great.
I found the guy I hooked up with last night on Wikipedia, at least now I know how old he is.
He's mad at me because I said I wouldn't date him if his dick was smaller. I fail to see the issue
And I had on a penis ring on the whole time at dinner. And I ate veal...
You wrapped yourself in tin-foil and told us you were Iron Man. I have pictures.
andy told me i got kicked out of the bar and was so drunk i forgot and got back in line. the bouncer was zero impressed
Randomize
