The guy next to me is watching porn. EVERYTIME I COME TO THE LIBRARY SOME RANDOM GUY NEXT TO ME LOOKS AT PORN.
i'm at sigma nu and gary is here. what do it do?
Stay away from his face.
so i go for his dick?
I'm like 99% sure I made out with Kevin Spacey last night. Not good.
I'm out of vodka and money. My semester is officially over. The way I see it, my finals are just forms I need to fill out in order to leave campus.
dude my 8 year old cousin is allowed to drink wine coolers. as long as its infront of my aunt. wtf
we took shots then she made me eat a dill pickle with cream cheese wrapped in a piece of turkey.
I'm sorry. But when a stripper driving a Bentley tells me I have potential..... I gotta at least listen to her proposal. God did not mean for me to waste these tits on law school.
I just want to steal his innocence through his penis. I really do.
Life Lesson #1 of 2013: double-fisting shower beers and shaving my bikini line should be reserved for two different showers.
I lost the back to your old name tag last night in a girls shirt. It got me a view of some titties though, I guess in some way you're still doing your brotherly deeds
"This must be what Jayden Smith feels like all the time"
At the end of the night i was really thirsty and tied to a bedpost
well i can officially check "have sex in a prius" off my bucket list...
What are you doing tomorrow?
Dude its my bday. Im drinking from sunup til face down. Rinse and repeat.
Because, after all, nothing quite says life in 2020 than doing laundry at 9:40 on a Friday morning to make sure you have masks and underwear.
Randomize
