woke up this morning wit a massive hangover. walked to my truck and found at least 35 for sale signs, a stop sign, and a julie kim sign...need answers
yea, you decided to become a real estate agent last night on the way home from the party. You started bitchin about how Julie Kim was stealing all your buisness....
And if you don't call me, I will embarrass you publicly with a can of spray cheez.
yeah that pretty much nipped itself in the bud when I realized i could see her whiteheads glowing in the blacklight
I'm in my winter jacket and nothing else. very drunk. bring bitches.
Just pulled back my covers. Jizz. Jizz everywhere. Hipster jizz everywhere on my only set of sheets.
it's just one of those nights where i don't care if anyone sees my vagina
Do you know of any good hiding spots in the Atlanta area?
Well, I dont really know how much penis you have at your disposal so I cant be sure
I asked my boyfriend if he wanted a bong for his birthday but he instead asked for corndogs
the cheaper the better
He's far too busy staring into my soul to touch my tits.
I am a delicate flower. A fucked up, drunk, horny, pants pissing, delicate little flower.
Does this mean I have to put a bra on now
I just choked eating whip cream from the can, and peed a little because I was coughing so hard. How am I still single.
My weirdest encounter with a stranger though was when for some reason they just gave me a box of unopened socks. Needless to say, I never used them.
I was pretty sure he wouldn't be into me after I fucked his brother, and then his best friend, and yet, here I am doing lines off his stomach
Randomize
