careful when you do the walk of shame, they are handing out bibles on campus
I'm so over stopping myself from talking about my sexual experiences in front of children.
just printed 333 ways to get kicked out of wal-mart. hello thursday night.
you have to be so drunk to ignore a taser
I guess I puked all over my hand too and I just looked at my roommate and said, "fix this."
I think he's in need of mouth to penis resuscitation. Which I happen to be certified
I woke up in nothing but a shower cap and your sparkling coke straw snorter thing inbetween my toes. Explain.
My goal is to upperdeck the house I'm at, because it's some girl I don't know's birthday. Welcome to adulthood, bitch.
I have acquired 14 pictures of hard dicks tonight... I was on a mission. Don't even pretend you aren't proud.
What I do when I'm blackout drunk is none of my business.
I still regret not being there for your blackout into the dumpster last year
I'm honestly considering asking her if I can eat her out, as a friend.
Well my summer has already been productive. I partially caused a divorce.
Costco (TM). Making alcoholism affordable!
Another guy on Tinder just asked about "the hotter girl" in my pictures. I fucking hate being your friend.
Randomize
