I'm jealous of your bromance
i don't have parental supervision. i'm gonna start accepting candy from strangers now.
if you don't start talking to me i'm gonna tell your gf that you said she tastes bad
no more stoned jack in the box. this is the third night in a row.
you probably should not have drank the wine that everyone spits out. and the sad part, that was not even your low point last night
we turned studying into a drinking game, she drinks when she gets it right, i drink when she gets it wrong. so we'll be out soon
well right now he's telling us a story how he befriended a racoon
during charades she pointed to herself and you guessed 'girl who wants to fuck me'
He just invited me over to bang on a sunday afternoon. If I can make it top the time I went to a strip club on fathers day then I'll consider it a success.
Did I call him? He cried after taking my bra off. You tell me.
Blowing lines in the bathroom and trying to get into the mindset of someone who wants to be at work for 12 hours
We put you in the box and you started to cry, that's how high you were.
I went in the hotel's jacuzzi fully clothed, threw up in the bathroom half an hour later and woke up naked next to Dr. Seuss' "Oh the Places You'll Go"
Well he had a nice beard and it smelled good so there was no way I wasn’t going home with him.
My law teacher drew an elephant on the board in class. I was so high that I laughed for 5 minutes straight. Nobody else laughed and everyone stared. 130 people knew I was high.
Randomize
