I've officially put my junk in foods from 5 of the 6 layers of the nutrition pyramid
it's a girl!!
That's great, I look forward to meeting her in 18 years
she spent the whole night flailing her arms because "primates are the only species who can move their arms like that and we shouldn't waste it"
He fucked volume into my hair. It was amazing.
seriously, i am too high for the omelet station to be playing Being For The Benefit Of Mr Kite at 7am
did i walk over a car last night?
Chasing tequila with honey. Ill let you know how it turns out.
He broke into my apartment to check his Facebook again, the beer is all gone, and there's a new high score on pac man.
Its a sick, sad, world when parents get more ass then you.
Hey, you can't rush the perfect creeper shot. I need buffer time to hone my skills.
The blow job award ceremony was a little much. You guys didn't need to call out what happened the night before.
What? How can you say that? You won!
You were fine, but your knee injury definitely came from interpretive dancing like a gay fairy with lead wings all around the Mission St BART. Everyone thought you were on drugs.
for once I'd like a one night stand where I don't meet the guys mom or wife in the morning
He got me off while watching hockey. He's a keeper.
Been smoking since 4. The inevitable finally happened: I bought a cheesecake.
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