Don't know whats worst me sharding on her a bit or her believing me when i told her she did it...
im a genious. moved my bed and mirror so i can watch the game while Fucking
i study at coffee shops because all these damn artsy people motivate me to work towards a real job.
its not college until your roomate walks in on you having sex in his bed. twice
How many times can I tell him that I wasn't expecting sex before he finally figures out that I'm just too lazy to shave?
They poured beer (3 cans) down the toilet so bubbles can be drunk in fishy heaven
If I believed in "responsibility" and "having limits", I would probably say I consumed too much alcohol in the last 48 hours
It was like being fucked by the god of thunder, he gained power from the storm. I took a Plan B because I don't think regular birth control will stop Thor's sperm.
He showed up in booty shorts and no shirt and said dont laugh dont ask questions and give me a fucking final and no one in class said anything we just sat there speehless
I'm confident that their children would come out as 100% authentic rats
Please come quick there are people in suits here judging me
In my defense, I haven't stolen anyone's clothes yet.
Yeah, that's a plus.
I achieved the level of drunk I wanted even with the length of dress I was in..
I just want a boyfriend who will have sex to Disney Pandora.
Drunk and bowling. Only good things can come of this
Randomize