took him home. told him i would rock his world. passed out. a for effort f for follow thru
he said i'm too pretty to suck penis
whenever I think of his sister, I just picture a chick with a huge beard
Should I feel bad that I fucked her and made her ride my little brothers razor scooter home?
He fell asleep and they duct taped him to the floor. He's pissed.
That's so unfortunate for him bc you can always find another penis, but he's stuck with it
I just got woken up by some Christians who wanted to talk about the bible. ways to make a hangover even worse for a thousand trebek
Lying on this bed is like lying on love and marshmallows and joy
i love you man. i hope we fuck some serious shit up this summer.
he ate me out like 4 times and told me that my vagina "was too much fun".
You said, "I'll have this whole island inside of you by 6 AM. Just point out who you want and I'll make it happen."
FYI, his "son" is a Chihuahua.
It's hard to talk dirty with a mouth full of peanut butter
you know you should be lucky to find the case to my dildo....that means no more random guys at the house!
I could be doing way worse things besides texting him 'come over and bang my headache away'. i could be on meth
Randomize
