Played the LOTR drinking game last night. Ended up in boxers running thru the lot at ross's place screaming "for frodo"
And then a tiny penis fell out of my purse
If i could bang her from 80ft away, I would
and i looked up. we had an audience...
Met some locals. They are taking me to a place where there is topless bullriding. I love this country.
You stuck your head out the window to puke and got hit with a mailbox.
But besides the pee thing, he sounds like a nice guy.
No, he attached a coozie to his crutches so he can carry his beer around the party.
and i think wearing the clothes from last night are out of the question...was there mud wrestling there? because i look like a participated..with a cat.
Owwwww. Yeah. I can barely move unless Im high on vicodin. We are bad at drinking/balancing. We will be the first to break hips and have to go into a home.
I hooked up with Spider-Man on the hood of Santas car. I kept saying that he could shoot his web at me. Also I found Waldo. Overall good night.
If we tried baptizing you I feel the water would start boiling around you.
Dashing through the vodka, in a tinder swiping rage, all the fuck boys get a no, laughing all the way.
Shut up. I hate you. We're doing shots tomorrow. Fuck the consequences.
We left Waffle House and he took off running five miles down the road saying we were "training for the Olympics." And I mean, I couldn't leave him out there like that...
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