So you know that marine I slept with, well his girlfriend just told me I was pretty, I almost feel bad for sleeping with him now...
Dont! You were just serving you country
I mean, I don't even call it a hangover anymore. It's just morning.
I felt like a dog for all the times during sex that he said "good girl"
we made it to hole 3 and then just sat down on the fairway and finished off our case....cheered on other golfers as we let them play through.
i had a threesome. one of the guys used to bully me in high school too for being gay.
He woke me up at 5am to recite nursery rhymes to our fictitious unborn child.
In other news: I found out that my mom used to fuck my newest fuck buddy's dad when they were in school.
On the train at 650am after a night of clubbing and running away from a new zealander who was buying us beers but also licking windows
Can you please come and collect your boss off of my kitchen floor.
He's not letting me leave till I cum. I am a hostage to my own vagina
I'm a hopeless romantic that likes rough sex. Judge me
Masturbating during the Olympics and cumming during the national anthem really is everything it's cracked up to be. Just thought you should know.
Lol. I get my husbands paycheck every week. Immediate deposit into my purse next to his balls.
I will pepper spray him so fast I don't even care
Woke up snuggling with a large wooden rhino that I stole last night...obviously, we had fun.
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