Someone just asked me to go to the dining hall for dinner and he will use one of his swipes to pay for my meal. i think this is a college version of a date
Dude with the Beatles haircut just got his pilots license and wants to take us up to do a case race mid flight. Don't tell me networking is unnecessary.
all I know is he gave me a Cialis and tried to take me home.
Got free coffee because I told the guy at starbucks the pleats in his khaki pants made his cock look big.
I know your texting costs money, but I'll pay for it if you consider this. Oversized frozen jello shots. I'll buy everything needed if you approve. Let me know
I think my multiple attempts of taking his life, no matter how unintentional they were, has put a damper on our friendship
There's a point around the one and a half minute mark where the keg stand goes from impressive to pathetic
Found your counterpart from cali. Walked into the bar we were in with milk and a donut, ordered a beer and said anything his group wanted was on his tab....dangerous
Then my perve supervisor asked about your vagina. And I was like nunya, but its glorious
Batchelotette party success. I woke up on the floor in nothing but a thong, a garter and a shirt that says Just Do Me.
she's an english major so her sexts are something i look forward to
Last night I watered my lawn and smoked a joint then cooked a steak. I'm really killing this adulthood thing.
Sad realization: so long as I use this sleep apnea machine, I will never be the little spoon!
He's such a neat freak that he started making the bed while I was still laying on it naked. He succeed in case you were wondering.
I told him I was ready for another round and he said, "after this part." What guy chooses James Bond over pussy?!
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