a mothers knocking is a guaranteed boner softener
i spent my evening searching "the sims having sex" on youtube
we're no longer friends
Fun Fact: The stage were about to graduate on is where we once drove a van and kidnapped someone.
Fun Fact 2: My parents are sitting by the bushes I peed in this weekend.
Um....sorry for hooking up with your brother last night...
Actually i take that back. You dropped the whiskey last night and broke the bottle. Were even
he's paying for my abortion by participating in an alcohol study. dont try to tell me we wouldn't be classy parents
just thought you should know it took me an hour and a half to make soup. I had to keep laying on my kitchen floor. being 21 is hard.
Ong my arms are moving wo my consent
no dude I'm not doing anything bad to her...remember she's always the DD she has blackmail material on literally all of us
We're only going to be this young and this cute but for so long. And how often is it that a pack of Albanian law students is in your house?!
well. can officially check "get caught having sex on the front porch by the neighbors" off the bucket list.
she came into my car to rip lines with our blow dealer as I was writing my essay on anti drug policy, i call it on site research
Please tell me I didn't send you a dick pic in the middle of Peter Pan..
He was really cute! And I know but it's just like getting my fix ya know? He's basically a human vibrator.
Our relationship revolved around Taylor Swift albums. It's no wonder it ended so fast
you just don't appreciate it because you've never been arrested
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