I don't usually arrange sex via text message
i met a boy and i'm in lovvvvveeeeeeee and we're going to vegas and getting marrrrrriiiieeeeedddddd!
let's be honest with each other here, that's about the worst idea you've ever had. you need to walk this one off.
Car fucking is for special occasions like birthdays and bank holidays. Don't want to lose the magic by making it an everyday thing.
no.. I went home. Puking up hot dogs and lemon tart isn't as lovely as it sounds.
The cab driver just finished telling me how leaving community college after one month was the best desicion he ever made.
he asked if he could put his cape on while he was still inside me.
professor came back from spring break missing a tooth
Took out half a tooth with a handle of jim beam last night. Apparently I can't walk and chug bourbon at the same time
I was paranoid that someone would jizz in my hair while I had the cucumbers over my eyes. Super-High Spa Day didnt work out.
Make way for the handjob queen! She will grab what she wants, when she wants, and from whomever she wants.
People will call it the Wrath of the Froyo. We'll be immortalized.
I'll do my best. he just keeps yelling beer and doing dick helicopters
Panties = found
Found your bra in my backseat. And yes it took me that long to finally clean it out from last weekend
Didn't even know it was missing, if that makes you feel any better
It's 3 am. Nothing I've tried can get the taste of failure and vomit out of my mouth.
Randomize
