i hope S**** or M***** or someone took note of the fact that i was drinking popov like water and could no longer form sentences. i mean, dont get me wrong i had been thinking about boning R*** long before my sobriety left the picture but the number of reasons not to, outweighed the temptation and without sir robert burnett as R***'s wingman, it would have never happened
he just watched a baby story on tlc while high and just called me screaming he never wants me to get pregnant
then he said we can't have sex anymore because ill hate him.
Hopefully the semester will be over before she has a breakout. Then I can just avoid the situation entirely
We had one of those mutual "I know your on a dating website, I won't tell if you won't" glances.
My cousin's dog just exhaled smoke. My job here is done.
Ironically her ferret's toys look like her sex toys.....this is a whole new level of kinky for me
Sorry you had to see that, but on the bright side...at least I trust you enough to have sex in front of you
Babe when I told you that you needed to grow up I didn't mean get drunk and sponsor 8 African kids.
Well, I'm getting my ex-boyfriend to get me a z pack to cure the chlamydia I got from my married fuck buddy so that I can fuck one of my students.
Right... Let's keep my vodka tinged mind focused on simple words
He went 'unicorn hunting' and lost a fight with a fence. That's how he ended up in the ER.
I woke up and he was just feeling up my stomach. I felt like buddha and he was rubbing my belly for good luck. never again.
being sober in physics class makes me realize the regularity with which i show up to it still drunk
YOU DON'T JUST GET TO CALL AND SAY YOU MIGHT BE DEAD, THEN NOT ANSWER!
Hopefully they won't bring up last year's Christmas party. I kind of predicted my great aunt's death...
Randomize
