Lets date for the summer
what?
Dont love me in September.
Everytime she opens her mouth it's like a fucking terrorist attack on my life.
If she sucks any more cock I swear she will be a spermivore
worst lay ever....
as long as you cum, there is no bad sex
ya... thank god for condoms, I was able to fake it... I stand by my original statement
while you were getting the key to the dorm from the lobby i was giving a drunk monolog to the security camera about my life
I puked for half an hour, but I went and danced afterwards, and that made me feel better.
You are so irish.
Stop making excuses. You can be here in 5 and cumming in 10
some asshole was waslkibg around with ab electric razor and shaving parts of peoples heads.
I don't think I'd trust a marching band with trampolines to not cause serious damage to themselves/ property.
Number of twigs I found in my hair: 5
2 hours later, she made her cat watch the waterfall scene from Homeward Bound to teach her how good she has it here.
There's times when I need to be plowed... and I'm ashamed to admit auto correct was able to predict that entire sentence.
The owner was showing me around and pointed at one of the bars and said "this is the one you're allowed to dance on. I could tell you wanted to ask." DREAM JOB.
I'm covered in glow paint and shame. I'm never leaving this country
The worst thing about buying this extremely comfortable bed is that once I get a girl into it, all she wants to do is sleep. I want my fucking money back.
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