I would make tea from her tampons just to see her tits
Dibs on passing out in front of the toilet.
i have to start hiding my credit card when i drink i woke up this morning with 4 emails from Farmville telling me i spent over $800 on coins last night
I just jerked off and used a stopwatch to track my results. Pretty depressing on multiple fronts.
It's like there's a party and my mouth and everyone's throwing up
The bartender laughed but the manager kicked me out when the mom conplained. There's no way my fart harmed that baby in any way
Jail wasn't bad. Was poppin Xanax the whole way there
Just start grabbing cocks. It can't go wrong! Just say you thought you knew him and wanted to check.
If you listen closely you can hear the sound of inbreeding and shame.
He drew a bath for me. It was only cute until he started throwing in celery and calling me soup.
WTF YOU SHOULDNT BREAK A SWEAT TAKING A SHIT. MY BODY HATES ME.
fuck it. from now on whatever room i wake up in, i'm stealing clothes from. this walk of shame shit is too much without pants
That basically sounds like the worst party of my life, and I'm including my brother's World of Warcraft themed birthday party.
We got to the second bar and all he kept saying was "I'm on an alcohol safari!" Best 21st birthday ever.
I woke up to him watching me sleep and after I told him it was over he asked if we were still on for Vegas next weekend
Randomize
