Dual, econ, hell, shiv, aunt, puppy. 1 out of 6. T9 word needs to learn how to cuss like me.
Her sex list was a LOT longer than mine. She tried to justify it by saying '4 of those don't count because they were in the gang bang'.
tell me how a rose bowl party involves waking up to find a raccoon in my kitchen cabinet eating my oreos the next morning?
all 3 of us brought blondes home last night. all 3 are passed out. we're gonna switch rooms and see how long until one of them notices.
Midnight run for medical supplies ended several hours later with a lapdance to the Braveheart soundtrack.
Omg I just met another drunk guy that is teaching me karate
My picture of a beer can in a McDonalds cup full of ice got more likes than my relationship with her. Is beer THAT much better than monogamy?
She sucks. And I almost hooked up with a clown last night
Almost threw up on my grandmother as she walked in the house. Had to run to the bathroom and vomit my brains out. Prolly getting taken out of the Will now.
Want to get drunk and look at an xray of my dick?
My g-ma saw your dick-pic and wants you to know I've got a keeper. She says her big whopper died in Korea. Good thing g-pa is still asleep.
You are my mentor.
I drank wine out of a protein shake bottle last night. You may want to rethink that statement.
I just googled "can they trace a vibrator back to you" so that' s how my life it going.
Just had my butthole waxed. If that changes your plans for Saturday..
He showed up completely drunk with a 30 of PBR and ten cans of Spam. I like this kid.
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