Be sure to let me know if your relationship crumbles so I can resume hitting on you
I woke up at 2 in my clothes with a defrosted steak in my pocket, no drinky this week at all.
my mom found all the used condoms in my bed side table
whatd she say to you?
no words- put them all in a circle, put the bible in the middle
do you know what somber means? it's kinda the opposite of a kegstand
The first song on his sex mix was "highway to the danger zone"
what's not responsible about a pool full of beer?
he got everyone in a room, turned off the lights and started throwing knives at the wall. if you got hit, you had to drink...
Are you high right now?
is that a question or a drake reference?
Just got hit on by a middle-aged puerto-rican clown who told me that it would be bad to date someone who offers to buy me coffee and makes something of themselves. I love the NY subway.
Dude if I call tonight please answer and just say "NO, dont do it."
BAT SHIT CRAZY
It's you're fault, even though I never called
As a gentleman whose genital hole is relatively small, you could imagine my reaction
When Dad gets to your house, ask him about the sound of anal beads. Happy Thanksgiving!
I feel like with a dick like that he could of done more with it
Remember how I made that resolution to remain celibate for 6 months? Well, I just broke that
You literally made that 4 hours ago...
This is a hangover from hell. Delivered by the devil himself.
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