She tried to have sex with him but he quote unquote respected her
why is there a sandwich nailed to the wall
I think I'm cybering, it's been a while and its more in depth than it was in 8Th grade.
So this shipmate of mine somehow managed to throw up in his back pocket.
The woman at the nail salon waxing my lip just showed me the strip with all the hair on it while smirking. Apparenltly 'you have a stache' can be communicated through a language barrier.
I kind of want you to get arrested just so I could frame an avatar mugshot.
gave you a haircut while you slept. Please don't kill me.
You know, it doesn't really count as a walk of shame if you guys showered together the next morning
Pretty sure God shed a tear when I put 15 singles in the collection plate.
She's the drunk girl with the air-horn and sunflower seeds.
Drinking ketchup directly out of the bottle does not make it tomato juice.
I had a really bad dream about us drinking this weekend. Remind me to tell you Friday when we start drinking
you said something about joining a k-pop band before passing out topless on the trampoline.
Well I'm glad your Saturday night went a lot better than mine. I spent mine crying in a McDonald's parking lot.
At one point did I say I have a doctorate in fuck u?
Randomize
