So his roomate was eating breakfast when I was sneaking out. He's the guy I took home from jessicas wedding. I ended up eating coco puffs with him
Just another sign I need to get out of this town
would you ever date a girl who drove an 89 Chrysler LeBaron? - for the record it's a convertable
I just walked into his bathroom to see two poops floating... no toilet paper. WTF!?
All I want for christmas is my sobriety back.
At this point it has been so long i wouldnt know what a dick was if it slapped me in the face.
2 am we went back to his house. his mom handed us beers and cooked us pancakes. the next morning his dad had washed my car. i lied. living at home after college definitely does not suck.
We're exchanging pot brownie recipes in my substance abuse class. This is going to be an awesome 7 weeks.
Never get a handjob from a girl who gives deep tissue massages.
I really like you, but I want to get to know you on a time when I am not at drugs.
Reason 37 booty call break ups suck: I literally could not find his house in the daytime.
It's like an R Kelly music video in here. Only a matter of time before someone pisses on someone
I don't know, Alex. I don't know. I lost my keys, my debit card, my makeup bag, broke my purse, had to have someone cut my shoe off, I have no idea where my costume is. I woke up next to the biggest douchebag I know and made out with this other guy while SIMULTANEOUSLY talking on the phone to the guy I'm talking to...
Dude, Donte totally wants it. I don't have any idea how I do it. I'm not even cool. I'm not even the hero Gotham deserves. I'm barely high. My hands are swelling. Want me to pick you up anything from five guys?
The drug dealer had chickens in his house so I know it was good stuff.
Using my graduation announcement box as a table to roll a blunt on. I've official stopped giving a shit about senior year
Randomize
