At least make sure they are 18
Why
Desperate + desperate does not equal a fun night.
there's something so ridiculous to me about watching someone with glasses exercising. it's like watching a whore studying in the library. stop trying to be someone you're not.
Margaritas ran out of lime juice. Substituted Jaeger. Jaegerita not good.
i got excepted to unl lol
You mean "accepted".
His dick looked like E.T.'s finger. It scared me.
We have a guy passed out in the bathroom with one of our pots. Not sure if he's your friend so I let him be
I think she's perpetually drunk
It's all she knows
Using your ex girlfriend's little brother to pick up women at the a&p: priceless
I just spent a solid 3 minutes trying to figure out how to send a smell through my phone
ok, i suppose pissing your pants could be considered a wardrobe malfunction.
He's still short.... And probably a douchebag. But if we ever run into him downtown I fully encourage you to take him home and have "I hate you douchebag" sex and lick every inch of that disgustingly toned chest.
i don't know what it is about you being around kids that makes me want to screw your brains out
That is the creepiest and also the sexist thing you've ever said
i think it's like a sexual celebration of not having kids
you can't just call dibs on my vagina bro.
He's the first boyfriend I wouldn't cheat on. This is a really big deal for me
Randomize
