well i just puked at a family gathering so i can cross that off the bucket list
if your phone is working sorry i called you at 2am. if it is not then i never called your phone at 2am
I'm shivering and sweating at the same time. Thanks a lot St. Patrick.
Is it wrong in Austin to talk to the homeless while I feed a bird my chips??
We dared each other to drink Arbor Mist, and I waterboarded someone with tequila.
Your dress got me laid by one of Obama's Secret Service members. Patriotic duty, check.
I just want to be naked all the time but not in a sexual, come-hither and look at my ass sort of way. In a slightly chubby yet not ashamed way as I eat Taco Bell and lay on soft fuzzy blankets.
So Bodhi just sent me a pic of someone's balls with a message that says "I hope you all have a ballin' night." I don't even know what level of friendship to call this anymore.
Oh my god.
The ballsiest level.
My hands are stained pink. I look like I fisted a muppet.
I like her because we want the same things out of life AND she actually wants to have sex with me.
Mom told me you snuck booze into a concert in a cheez its box...I have never been prouder to be related to you
Didn't pick classes because we were out all weekend...only open course is "alcohol and drug problems". Fucking ironic.
No, gay couples have the same problems straight ones do; I wish that we could go back to the days when he would shit with the door closed.
I wish I could send you one of those donuts I had. Like teleport it to you. Because it would change your life
We ended the night eating peanutbutter with our hands and smoking cigarettes in the house at 4am. Fucking Everclear, man.
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