I found out 2day that my dad was a stripper in New Oleans.
They need a stunt cock, be about 20 more minutes.
Do I buy ice cream sandwiches or a 40? these are the difficult life decisions I am faced with.
debating whether or not to save the package from my first plan b pill. it would be a nice addition to any baby book.
He was on Keeping Up with the Kardashians it was like a deed from god to bang him
He won't ever take me seriously if I keep getting drunk and hooking up with all his friends.
It was sunday, you had a camel back of bloody mary stumbling around a dog park with no dog.
Its bad when you wake up with a penis drawn on your face. Its worse when you find out its traced..
I. Did. In fact. Sprain. My liver. This. Weekend.
Cassie is wearing a baseball cap. This rebound is going nowhere
Im sorry i offered the man at mcdonalds your hand in marriage in exchange for some french fries
Drinking wine from a straw at 6:15 in the morning. This is what college does to people.
I told him I'd ride his broomstick if he let me call him Harry Potter and drew a lightning bolt on his forehead.
I forgot to lock the door last night. I woke up cuz a guy opened my bedroom door, asked me who I was and where he was. And there was another guy standing in the living room asking me if I knew what apartment "Travis" lives in.
Great... now even my dreams are making fun of me
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