kevin brought a 6ft brunette runway model with him tonight. Now, im not sure what the fuck the color of the " i get it, its over, Im ugly" flag is.... but i'll wave it.
I smoked weed with pregnant girl. I'm going to hell.
At one point I was double fisting both beer & ice cream. I love public events in this town.
He said he wanted to have butt sex with me and curl up with me after and just be near me. Then he passed out.
4 girls from the bar, me, strip basketball. here. NOW
One day her vagina is just going to shrivel up and seal itself with it's self preservation mechanism
Well, I watched a girl proposition a shit ton of people, try to take a cocktail waitresses job and then proceed to walk into a wall. Damn, I'm a little jealous.
The tequila covers up the fact that the choco liquor tastes like sadness.
You had a fry stuck to your face... Every five mins you would wake up, take a bite, put it back then fall asleep again...
I never thought the most recent texts on my phone would be with ASAP ferg and my ex...
You kidnapped her dog. I don't care that you and the dog are epic bros, that's just not cool. Return him.
We have hung out 5 times and only had sex 3 of those times. I'd call that friendship
I can't sleep. Send Llama pictures.
I think he may actually care that I call him slampiece instead of his real name. Who knew he had feelings?
wheres my face? and why is my pocket so big?
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