There are babies in the room i shouldnt be high with babies in the room.
everybody makes mistakes
i didn't know they allowed you to text in ambulances
I remember seeing LSAT prep books and thinking "Whose room is this? I should be hooking up with them instead."
We shoved chex mix between her tits for her own survival.
I'm taking her home. She just told a 90 yo woman in a packers hat to "suck her cock".
apparently we spent 30 minutes inside that big Nike store turning all of their Duke gear inside out. for some reason the employees didn't stop us.
Watched him slip somethin into her drink. Dragged him of his bar stool, punched him out, and told her what i saw. Bartender used some chemical to confirm presence of rophynol. Just woke up at her place
my window is missing, there is half a pizza jammed into the disk slot of my PS3, and the entire kitchen floor is covered in cerial i cant see any wood floor. did we have fun?
Some guy just ordered at Cosmo and 2 screwdrivers in the sky club at 8:30 am. I'm starting to feel a lot better about my alcoholism
So when's a good time this week to show up at your apartment in nothing but a trench coat and a bow? Y'know. Hypothetically.
well I didn't shave for the hot dilf I banged last week so I'm sure as hell not shaving for you. Sry
idk how many shots you took between 2:39 and 3:05, but your message went from "Please text me tomorrow." to "Why you sto textom?"
she said she was so hungover this morning in a way that sounded like she was apologizing for thinking she was attracted to me last night...
We won like $80 last night at the casino, so if we get the Plan B we still have enough to get your basic bitch latte from Dunkin. Calm down.
Call me Sherlock Holmes, bitch.
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