my boyfriend just named your boyfriend's penis.
He was legit dry humping me to the sportscenter theme song, awkward i think SO.
she took her bra off and it was like the puppet strings had been dropped. her tits totally deflated.
Just told him about my threesome. if that doesn't make him want to date me nothing will.
The plan is to make enough mistakes this weekend to hold me over until spring break
I walked in on her just letting her nose bleed into her friend's hands
And I wasn't prepared because its been a very long and lonely season and I wasn't expecting to find dick at Press Box trivia night....
I know, it's just the worst. Also, security almost took the burrito I brought for lunch. I thought I was going to have to pull a Liz Lemon and eat the whole thing before I could go through.
we're in NC now and so far we've smoked a blunt in every state with the exception of Tennessee which we accidentally went to
So drunk I thought the door was feeling me up for a seconds
just blew him in the library. I am a classy dame
Should we make a shared Google doc list of places we want to fuck? Like a scavenger hunt?
Crawl out into the sunshine and off your vibrator for 7 minutes
Worst sex ever! He was a talker for sure! I was on top and out of no where he said "Oh you bad bitch?" I stopped and left.
I mean...if Marco gets pregnant, it is either the spawn of Satan or the second coming of Christ (neither of which I want in my life). So let's just hope that he doesn't grow a womb and that we don't have to consider either option.
Randomize
