Let's make love on the newspapers that declare financial doomsday
I'm at a work party and I don't know how to drink socially. You know, like slow?
I just had a dude tell me how he got fired from friendly's for tripping a kid and followed the story with "If i'm gonna do it, I do it big."
I don't even have to sign up for karaoke at duncans anymore. The karaoke ppl just sign me up themselves. Without my consent. I also sang stacys mom to some lady named Stacy who's mom died yesterday.
I just got cut off for correcting the bartender's grammar. I should have never accepted that fucking editors position.
It's offcial there's a Bobby Light radio station on pandora.
please stop yelling "ITS NARNIAAAAAAAAA" out of our window at the lone person walking home in the snow
Last night after the bar I went home and ate a pulled pork sandwich in a bubble bath
thats because you have standards... and i have a thing for guys that give me free drugs.
Idk how much vodka is on these pants but I'm gonna wear them anyway: the biopic
You don't know weird until you've had a musical wet dream about your older brother.
I want to be a supportive friend to her, but I also want to sleep with her ex now that he's single.
my very deepest apologies for the unintentional cock block.
roommate singing save a horse ride a cowboy wearing a cowboy hat a bikini and jeans while humping the couch.
I woke up at 6:30 in the morning on the A train on 14th street. You wouldn't know anything about that right?
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