I'm drinking till I'm someone else's problem
i just saw my boxers from 2 days ago stuck in a tree 4 miles from my house
so thats when we found her crawling hands and knees up first street singing hold me closer tony danza as loud as she could
did she say where she was going
apparently she thought she was on morton hill and was trying to go back to the bars
dude, she masturbates with a ken doll.
I should have kept drinking, a coma can't be as bad as this hangover
i no longer feel bad for not doin my schoolwork. im watching a porn in french. this MUST qualify as studying.
They were going around the house breaking things and screaming "Not my house!"
I'm going to pre plan my black out tonight. I think I'll set a change of clothes out on my bed and unplug the oven.
Oh please tell me that I'm sleeping in your shower and not the neighbor's again
Out of beer. Salsa pong. Never again.
took adderall before wrapping presents, ended up making paper snowflakes for two hours
Why are you surprised? I've only ever liked older guys since I was a 3 yr old crushing on her pediatrician.
Laying in bed nude eating a Big Mac with a cat. It's gonna be a good year.
is that a dick in a sweater?
She woke up, peed in the sink and then passed out again, it's only 2 in the afternoon
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