Do you think if Santa was real that he's have a big penis?
My dick just stopped my iPhone from falling into the toilet.
No she hasen't showed up to my place yet, last I heard she was puking as she was walking without stopping near the park.
My nipple ring got caught on the rug again. Tequila makes me unlearn these things
Last night I texted her to confirm she could start designing costumes for my show this week.
That is one convoluted booty call.
Sorry I pissed in your dining room and kicked your best friend in the face while he was passed out.
IT WAS SO BIG. I FORGOT GOD MADE THEM LIKE THIS.
Babies are disgusting. I held one once. Then I washed my hands and rinsed my mouth out with wine.
The silhouette of his dick looked like an eagle. Amurrican.
Everyone heard you having sex but I just told them you were having a nightmare.
It was just a Craigslist hook up but she wore sweats. Where are the girls with class?
Appreciate the offer but I'm a huge fan of penis
I've just had my first cup of coffee in a month and I moaned at the first drink and honestly I think this is the most sexual expreiance in 6 months
This might be the worst thing you've ever done.
Really? I feel like I've done worse. Guess I gotta step my game up.
Man I just realized that my only life problem right now is that I have to convince myself not to fuck a 19-y-o
Randomize
