I kind of had a moment like that kid whose mom cancelled his WoW subscription, except I didn't try to shove a remote control up my own ass.
you kept screaming i cant feel my vagina, it kinda killed the mood.
funny how all you have to say is "i'm infertile" and boys are stoked on you
Look, all I'm sayin is $2 boilermakers and an expense account are probably a bad mix…
Just bought a disco ball for 5 dollars, of course we're drinking tonight.
I feel like shaving is just admitting i'm gonna do him, even though im still on the fence
shave. it'll take 10 min. Better safe than hairy.
Wasted on the beach. There's children everywhere. A six year old girl even stood over me with her hands on her waist looking down on me as I was passing out by the water
No it was the best sex I've had in months. Nothing turns me on more than getting rid of a boyfriend.
He came in 20 minutes late for his final wearing plastic bags on his feet, and a tablecloth cape. Explain.
I drunken agreed to go wedding dress shopping with a stranger at the bar yesterday. She sent me an email asking what days I am free.
I'm having one of my monday morning walk of shame coffees if you care to join.
Dude, im sorry I had sex with that girl I was trying to hook you up with last night. Good news though she puts out
I want morning sex. We can incorporate maple syrup into it somehow, it'll be fun
Why is there a chocalet milkshake outside our front door?
Alcohol
Like I fucked him in the shower at 3 am when I had classes all day the next day so he can't say I'm not dedicated
Randomize
