you really should stop posting my phone number on craigslist as tranny seeking tranny, last night i answered at family dinner and almost choked on my hot dog
do you not see the irony in that??
he said "cool" when i took off my bra and proceeded to stare wideeyed at them the ENTIRE time. it was like sleeping with the kid i showed my boobs to for the first time in 6th grade.
I don't know how it happened, one minute we were talking about Huck Finn, the next minute I was blowing him behind the corner of his apartment building.
im looking at burger kings website. there isnt one anywhere close to where we were last night. i think it was sent from heaven
I think i blacked out...but i remember licking your teeth
Plus my stomach has been speaking through my ass all day sending notes saying "fuck you" and "this is from your liver" or "i will kill you."
She looked at me and said "i like penises." and then passed out with her condom balloon animal in her hands.
Just read 119 best sex positions. I wanna try 107 of them. Can I put you down for 50?
OUR DIABOLICAL SLUT PLAN HATH COMMENCED!
I feel like she is getting all kinds of bacterial exposure that may otherwise have been avoided had she been wearing pants
Got stuck at my fwb place for three days because I decided sex was more important than my safety in the weather. Worth it.
Well, he kept asking me if I was going to murder him once we got upstairs. It sort of killed the mood.
I screamed "You look like a guy I've fucked!" to your brother at a party... I have some explaining to do.
I'm tired of you and your emotional constipation. WHY DO YOU CLOSE YOUR EYES WHEN WE MAKE LOVE!?
Got any extra dick over there? I’m running low
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