one should ask oneself what kind of lifestyle one is leading when one finds a handprint of semen on their pillow the next day.
Whatever. They have the same name, so it's not even cheating. It's brand loyalty.
why do all canadians talk like horny gerbils are stuck in their throats?
Going to get tested monday. You're coming with. Bonding time, slut style.
Now i know why people get high. I sat in the same chair for about 3 hours and the only thing i worried about was how far away my chinese food was.
dude, i think we just came across a situation where tits weren't worth it.
her roommates boyfriend drunkenly walked in on us banging and said yeeeeaaaaaahhhh and tried to high five me
My pupils are so HUGE you can see into my soul from 2 miles away
Omg. Some dude is jacking off in Kelly's bathroom.
Just woke up to find that I'd left a stove burner on for the past 6 hours or so. I'm now banned from Ambien cooking.
EITHER I'M HIGH OR JUST REACHED A NEW LEVEL OF SINGLE FEMALE SADNESS BECAUSE THIS BROWNIE IS GIVING ME ORGASMS
I just hooked up with a one legged Australian guy. Hooray diversity!
She has the best kind of daddy issues
it's your last night here, let's make it one we may or may not remember.
I just came in my own mouth don't ask me how cuz it really hurt and felt good at the same time.
Randomize
