do all gilrs hav hair on thier vagaina ?
Don't drive home.
i was rollin on her like bob the builder
So I just found out that my mom and dad arent married
What? They have three kids?
Yep. And apparently I have a half brother. Happy Birthday to me
This is a mass text. Does anyone know what the hell the asian woman at the end of Napoleon Dynamite is doing in the movie
Apologies for hacking your facebook and posting that picture of you passed out hooked up to the IV...but we were sat with you on the ER floor for 3 hours, it got boring
Did you ask me to bring you a t-shirt to class or did I just dream that?
No, I did. It's a long story.
I was desperately holding on to my sandwich while we had sex.
No offense, I mean I'm sure you rocked my world and all but I don't remember.
I traded my pants for a Santa hat last night and it was so worth it.
I had to write an apology letter to my roomate for hotboxing in our bathroom. What a bitch.
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
:(. i have vodka in a fire extinguisher. that solves all problems. except fires. it would actually make that worse.
I'm that daughter that had to send her mother "DON'T GET SHITFACED" & yes, in ALL CAPS.
I apologize for there being a shopping cart in the living room. I don't know how why or where i got it.
I was a psycho gf all the time...I'm sorry
I was drunk 90% of the time...tit for tat
Randomize
