Scared. last time someone tried to talk me into they said it tastes like tapioca and i projectiled onto a closed window
i just lost my virginity for the 9th time. when will guys stop believing that nonsense line
jacking off on stolen wireless... gotta enjoy the small things in life
I'm going on a nature/throwup walk. Don't lock me out of the apartment.
We need somewhere to take these girls. Otherwise it's a orgy in the Mazda.
Handcuffed. To. Steering. Wheel. Fuck.
Yeah, she tried to drown her but then they hooked up.
I'm sorry the first time we hungout you had to witness me throw up in the ocean then army crawl to shore.
You screamed "she never feeds them anyway" and threw the fish tank off the 3rd floor balcony. Don't park on our side of the building.
We convinced the Dj to let us play musical chairs...... I won by the way.
Is it festive if I masturbate to Santa porn?
you just rode your bike home from a one night stand in a stolen skirt with no underwear and you're telling ME to reevaluate life choices?!
YOU LEFT MY FUCKING BRA OUTSIDE OF YOUR HOUSE AND NEVER TEXTED ME.
Hmmm... I thought we agreed as a group we make our last stand in Philly...
I don't wanna go out like that. Covered in melted cheese smelling like a sewer rat...
We need to stop smoking. I just ran into a glass door.
Randomize
