everytime i listen to a chris brown song and like it i feel like i bad person
SO stoned. Sitting in just a thong in front of a fan. NO work for a WEEK! Life is good :)
I have no idea what i drank..i remember dancing and ass grabbing..u falling. Headbutts. Trying not to puke. And deja vu.
im flying all the way to minnesota to see him for four days... cutest-best-friend-reunion or most-epic-booty-call-ever?
who says it cant be both...
I just remember thinking that if i ran really fast through the house, no one would notice i was naked.
Oh and you pulled your pants down outside in front of like five people, held my hand, then peed.
They glued all of the ceiling tiles shut.
oh my god. you caused complete remodeling to a college campus that you don't even go to
I tried exercising today. I ended up masturbating to the Wii fit trainer.
I am going to be fat forever.
When I was with you my penis felt like a fat woman crammed into a pair of lulu lemons
You know you need to hit the gym when you're not strong enough to get the cork outta the wine bottle. And you know you're a drunk when that's the only motivation to do exercises
I took out the emergency phone in the elevator and replaced it with a bottle of vodka. The game is simple, do a shot for the number of the floor you're going to. Best suggestion box tip ever.
I think the only option is to smoke so much weed I just pass out for 3 days.
Vodka, rum, moonshine, I don't care, just bring like 5gallons.
I'm more than my video games and dildo collection
If wanting to text you my feelings after three mojitos is wrong I don't wanna be right.
Randomize
