Wow that girl who lives a couple houses down is going out wearing butterfly wings a skirt and fishnets
I just walked in on my mom and dad......It wasn't my dad
Did u know that at any givin time there r 46,948,952 drunk people in the world? Were not alone
he rolled over and started playing skeeball on his iphone after we had the best sex yet considering he only lasted 10 seconds last time.. im getting standards.. tomorrow. for now im just going to enjoy the fact i counted over 20 this time.
For some reason, Oliver from Hannah Montana reminds me of pudding.
That's cute.
explain to me why "crisis hotline lolz" is in my contacts?
whatever it's my dick and i'll put it wherever i want
she refused to get out of the dog cage till we sang "be our guest" to her.
Sorry for rubbing my feet on you and repeating "good pony, stay."
Banana suit guy has an entourage and they're all douchebags. There is no god.
I climbed through his window to find him already with another booty call. This wouldn't have happened if I could upgrade from my 7th grade scooter to a real car.
…If I were you I wouldn't use that as part of your argument to your dad for a car
I told him I'd ride his broomstick if he let me call him Harry Potter and drew a lightning bolt on his forehead.
Sooooooo, maybe just fucked on a motorcycle.
Its the damn oven. I think it wants to eat me.
You spilled your drink, and we laughed so hard my boobs popped out of my shirt.
Randomize
