Kristen just told everyone at the bar that I've got a huge dick, now Brittany is giving me the eye. What is the opposite of FML?
Exactly. All of us sinners go to hell and get nothing while all of the goody two shoes get to go to heaven where its all pink floyd, lasers, and pot.
Is it bad that John just came to my work to have sex with me bc I felt bad that he slept on his porch last night locked out and I missed all his calls?
I head back to the dorms in less than a week I'm not ready to see my roomate naked that much again.
Do you remember puking up your retainer into the toilet and putting it right back in your mouth?
The main two things I remember from last night is you "spanking Katey into reality" and watching her barf in terror.
How's your threesome situation going?
Optimistic
Any man who has a face like that and a bike, deserves a vagina like yours permanently.
I seem to have forgotten that I am wearing a one piece bathing suit under my clothes
The condition was that I had to eat her out to Beethoven
I would go a lot of places to get laid. But I would NOT go to Staten Island.
I AM GETTING LAID TONIGHT YES HAPPY DAY PRAISE JESUS ALMIGHTY IN HEAVEN DEAR GOD CHRIST YES DADDY YAAASSS
She always used to joke about becoming a stripper. WHO'S FUNNY NOW?!
OMG LOOK AT THAT PIECE OF MAN
I haven’t trained for this.
Never underestimate the power of titties
Randomize
