I'm going to write a book about John. It's going to be called big dreams, little dick
well. it's seven AM and i'm too high to hula hoop.
He looked at me like he has never had a girl throw up on him before.
hey girl hope you're alright, you hit that tree really hard. have a good night.
There's a girl in the bathroom crying about something having to do with cream cheese.
Living room floor. I asked him to give me a back rub. He did. And smoothly transitioned that to foreplay, then basically threw me on the floor. My vagina hurts. He deserves another Christmas present.
I said "I am wrapped in the Cocoon Of Comfort! You should go." He started to argue and I yelled "COCOON OF COMFORT!!!" silencing him
Last night dinner was cinnamon buns and whiskey. At least tonight I had a fajita with my cookies and tequila. I may be a little stressed about these end of semester tests.
got into a verbal altercation with Luke Harangoty last night over a table. Called him a cross-eyed fuck and got the table.
Try eating a sub blackout with your uncle. It's not easy ok
Visions of polite missionary are dancing in my head right now kinda and it alarms me
Weirdest drunk sex ever. His sweat dripped into my eyeball and then he looked down and asked me why I was crying. I went with it.
Banged former boss. Adulthood achievement unlocked.
YOU'D BE LIKE A MERMAID! I'll bring you coffee filters to cover your tits.
Probably some sort of karmic revenge for me looking at titties somewhere along the way
and for that you shall suffer
God: I won't strike you down, but I shall introduce your child to Doja Cat during a quarantine
Randomize
